During therapy sessions in Be Kind, different exercises are used to further develop self-understanding. One of the methods we use is mirror work. It’s a difficult job to look at yourself, to find and face yourself alone. But it’s also a wonderful tool for healing, a tool for a deeper and true connection.
Today, I found myself alone in front of the mirror. The simple fact of seeing me, of looking at me for several minutes, made me feel like a shock. I just couldn't stop crying. It's something I had never done before and I'm not used to contemplate myself for hours in front of the mirror. Probably because I still struggle with myself.
I have trouble looking at who I am, what I send back. I am afraid of my own look at myself, just as I am afraid of the look of others, which already seems to be more than enough. Watching me was powerful.
Guided by the therapist, I questioned myself, I wondered. What do I see?
The verdict is quite difficult: I see a lot of sadness. The sadness and heaviness of the stress and challenges I face on a daily basis.
I wondered what my true nature was? My authentic self. In my heart, I know that there is light, joy, happiness. But that's not what I'm seeing in the mirror, and realising that hurts me. With an exercise like mirror work, I can also see what things I want to send back, what I really want to make appear, and question myself, about how to do it?
I believe that the first step is to be able to heal myself, to be able to find the things that animate me, to be able to love and appreciate who I am for who I am. Once my path is found, once my inner balance is reached, I know that I will be able to see the light again in the mirror.
Mirroring is so powerful, because it allows you to realise what is happening inside. It also allows you to question yourself, spend time and confront yourself and ask the right questions. It’s also a powerful means of practicing affirmations, more powerful than practicing them in meditation. Affirming "I deserve to be alive", "I love my body", "I am free to do what I want" face to face with yourself adds power to the statements. It’s an inner dialogue, which touches the heart directly. By regularly practicing the mirror exercise, I can no longer only affirm things, but as time goes on, let them soak into me. By practicing, I can truly believe it.
At first, it’s difficult to affirm such powerful sentences by sincerely believing them. Because we are not used to treat ourselves in the right way, to treat ourselves with kindness. We are used to have compassion and tender gestures for people around us, for the people we love and cherish. I understood with this exercise that the first person who deserves my attention and love is myself.
To radiate and bring joy and light around us, it’s above all in us that we have the possibility to cultivate it. The inner work moves all around us: it affects all aspects of our lives.
A mirror work session is pretty intense. I was unable to do anything in the hours that followed, because the work and emotions within me were so strong. But what a liberation after, to become self-aware. To realise that first and foremost, the most important thing is to be aligned with myself, so that I can be aligned with everyone else.
I invite all women to come and experience mirror work, to challenge their fears and anxieties. After that, you won't have to run from the mirror in the bathroom anymore. You will be able to simply look at yourself with kindness, remember how good it feels to be free.